Navigating 35,000 Daily Decisions
How My S.E.L.F. Model Can Improve Your Decision-Making
After being named the winner of Author of the Year at the Women’s Business Awards 2025, I’d like to share the decision-making framework from my book that has guided me through life’s most challenging crossroads.
The Hidden Exhaustion of Modern Life
Did you know you make approximately 35,000 decisions every day? Before your morning coffee, you’ve already chosen when to get out of bed, what to wear, and whether to check your phone. By lunchtime? Your brain is quietly rebelling.
This isn’t just an inconvenience – it’s decision fatigue, and it’s slowly draining the mental energy you need for the choices that truly matter.
When Life Forces Your Hand
Imagine you’re driving home after a pretty brutal week, feeling battered but not broken, when clarity strikes. You realise you’d be far more effective working for yourself than trapped in corporate restrictions.
Play it safe or leap into the unknown?
This was my reality when I was 50. The framework I used to navigate this crossroads became the cornerstone of my book “Flashpoint Transformation”, my S.E.L.F. Model, a structured approach to decision-making that seems both practical and empowering in our overwhelmingly choice-filled world. And it has since guided others
through their own flashpoint moments.
The Problem with Winging It
Most of us muddle through major life choices without structure. We rely on gut feelings, seek endless advice, or get paralysed by overthinking. Meanwhile, the quality of our decisions directly shapes the quality of our lives. The S.E.L.F. Model is the practical lifeline at the heart of my book.
Your Decision-Making Compass: The S.E.L.F. Model
S – Situation (The One-Sentence Rule)
Brutal clarity first: describe your situation in one sentence. This constraint cuts through mental clutter and identifies the core issue. Career change? Relationship ending? New venture? This single sentence becomes your North Star.
E – Emotion (The Honesty Test)
The bit most of us skip: emotional honesty. List every feeling – pleased to ecstatic, disappointed to betrayed, upset to furious. Here’s the truth: emotion drives intuition, which overpowers logic every time. Rather than pretending feelings don’t matter, harness their power.
L – Logic (The Reality Check)
Strip away emotion. Examine pure facts. What do you know to be true? This prevents the dangerous dance between wishful thinking and catastrophic assumptions that derails decisions.
F – Future (The Consequence Calculator)
Explore three types of forward movement:
● Solo decisions: Complete control
● Personal control: Options within your influence
● Collaborative approach: Requiring others’ input
This prevents tunnel vision.
My £50,000 Gamble: The Framework in Action
When I faced my own corporate crossroads, I used this model. Here’s what happened:
Situation: I felt more effective as an external consultant than a restricted employee.
Emotion: Frustrated by limitations, energised by authentic work possibilities.
Logic: Transferable skills, strong network, existing market.
Future: Financial risk is significant, but value alignment outweighs security.
The result? Seven testing months, then decades of successful international consulting. Prime Objectives became my vehicle for meaningful work across cultures.
Why Your Brain Needs This
Decision fatigue directly affects wellbeing. As mental energy depletes, we make poor choices, avoid decisions, or rely on dangerous shortcuts. The S.E.L.F. Model offers efficiency: less energy figuring out how to decide, more energy on the decision itself.
Your Implementation Toolkit
Make this framework work:
● Start small: Practice with minor decisions
● Write it down: Prevents mental shortcuts
● Embrace honesty: Especially with emotions
● Allow processing time: Good decisions rarely need immediate responses
Living Proof as an Octogenarian
I continue modelling my philosophy. Recently signed a five-year modelling contract, proof that reliable frameworks let you approach uncertainty with confidence, not fear. My nomadic military childhood taught me: change is woven into life’s fabric. The S.E.L.F. Model navigates it with intention and wisdom.
The Choice is Yours
In a world of endless options and constant pressure, the S.E.L.F. Model provides something precious: a pathway to decisions you can live with. Whether you’re facing a career crossroads, a relationship decision, or any other flashpoint moment, remember: the quality of our decisions shapes the quality of our lives. So choose your framework wisely.
Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction. Each moment is a fresh beginning.
My book “Flashpoint Transformation: Life’s Choices – Ready to Jump or Waiting to be Pushed?” is available in physical, PDF, and audiobook formats. It offers a comprehensive exploration of my decision-making philosophy along with inspiring stories from others who have successfully navigated major life transitions.
